Japan Do’s and Don’ts
Do try the amazing variety of Japanese food, however don’t say ‘I am so hungry I could eat a horse!’ as that my dear friends is exactly what you will get…horse sashimi!
Seafood Sashimi
As well as mastering the chopstick, some foods are a little tricky to eat such as ‘onigiri’, sticky triangles of rice balls wrapped in seaweed ‘nori’ which was the free breakfast at the ‘New Saitama hotel’ this was also accompanied with miso soup. This requires ‘waza’ (technique). Do hold the triangle by only touching the nori once you go outside of this it will quickly fall apart really! Rice will stick every where attracting more rice until you have sticky rice gloves hands and people around you will laugh at you…politely.
After two days of training I have the correct waza so I am tucking into my onigiri whilst listening to a jazzy piano version of ‘A whole new world’ from the ‘Aladdin’ Disney animated film, even that has not thrown my focus , this is true zen sticky rice balls eating!
Onigiri
Do not spar with your chopsticks as if you were training in ‘Jodo’ (the practise of short staff weapon training) this sends the message that you believe these chopsticks are cheap. Even if you feel you would like to smooth any wood splinters away samurai style, this may offend.
Do ask for a fork if you are struggling with your chopsticks this really is okay and less time consuming. This is so much better than attempting to delicately wrap spaghetti or noodles round the chopstick then lassoing your face with semi warm noodles in the attempt to catch them before they slip off, if you have longer hair then this will add to the challenge as you blend your own hair into your noodles bringing new meaning to the Italian pasta ‘Capelli d’angelo’, angel hair pasta! Why do you think Japanese people hutch themselves over their bowl, slurp up and shove the noodles rapidly into there mouths…it is because they are wise.
Barbeque breakfast
A word of caution to vegetarians. Do expect bacon or ham to turn up in unlikely places such as in potato salad. I feel the way of thinking here is that if bacon is chopped up small enough, it is in fact a vegetable. I took to drawing a picture of a cartoon pig with a cross through it to avoid this chubby pink hoofed animal then one day at a Shidokan BBQ, I gave up and pretty much ate most of the food chain (in small quantities, it was ‘Oishi’ (tasty) and okay) If you are hungry and no vegetables are in sight this is a must do and it will assist in soaking up the many lemon sour Shochu (similar to our British gin) drinks you have just downed.
Don’t be lazy when giving your business card to someone ”ere ya’ style will not do. Hold your business card with both hands and gracefully offer it to the other person. When receiving a business card yourself, gently take it with both hands and examine it like a precious stone for longer than usual, don’t just glance at it and shove it in a pocket. This business card could be the start of new opportunities and unique friendships, in other words …’a whole new world…a new fantastic point of view!…
ugly singing fly thing
Don’t worry if you find yourself singing a random Disney theme such as the above ‘Aladdin’ tune or other sing-a-longs like ‘The Monkeys’ ‘Day dream believer’ or ‘Limahl’ ‘The never ending story ‘. Subliminal music has entered your zen mind, this is normal, jazzy instrumental and Jpop versions are everywhere…the 7/11, hotel reception areas, lifts, shopping malls as well as bird noises on the metro platforms and cuckoo song on the zebra crossings! If you are in Japan in August, the trees appear to sing which is in fact the giant ugly fly things which inhabit them. Everything is singing, why not join in, it will make you feel happy, after all this is the home of Karaoke!
Washlet
Do exercise vigilance in the toilet or ‘washlets’ as they are called. There are still some old style Japanese toilets which are pretty much a gully on floor level where you could quite easily lose a flip flop and some look like urinals, however I may have been in the men’s room!
Washlet instructions
In the modern toilets, absent minded leaning on anything with buttons may cause wet distress, however, do feel free to experiment with the bidet as the displays are pictorial and this cleansing is a common place bathroom activity by the Japanese but I feel not really for me. The toilet often automatically flushes if you have been sitting there for too long, daydreamers, believe! and some flush as soon as you sit down or stand up, do not be alarmed. Do enjoy the warm toilet seat which you will miss on your return and you will wonder how you ever lived without this luxury for so long.
Do take your shoes off whenever you enter someone’s house and in visitor accessible Shrines and temples. In other places such as ryokans (traditional Japanese guest houses) shoes off please and slippers on, which are provided. However, if an area within the building has tatami mats (straw flooring) then the slippers must come off. If you have to cross an area which is partially outside such as viewing a zen garden, then slippers back on. In shoes off buildings such as swimming pools, there will be plastic slippers for you to walk in to reach the toilet and back again. In traditional Japanese restaurants if you see cushions on the floor, tatami mats and private floor level eating, shoes off. In dojo’s (martial art venues) definitely shoes off and a bow upon entering. Traditional Kimono material shops will also have the shoes off rule.
Slippers
Confused? Don’t be, there will be plenty of clues in the entrances such as other people’s shoes, shoe storage, rows or baskets of slippers and tatami mats. Do read the room, look around to see if it shoes on or off, don’t just obliviously walk on through in a dandy fashion as this is the equivalent to climbing up in your muddy mountain shoes and trampling a loved ones sofa!
Don’t hug your new Japanese acquaintance by way of a greeting. In Britain many times you will see friends greet each other with an excited ‘Arghhh! then throw their arms around each other and hug lovingly’. In Japan this really won’t work out, the recipient will either give you the slip or freeze in a floppy manner rendering the hug most unsatisfactory. Do keep to the formal bow.
Do learn some basic good manners words. I arrived in Japan with all Karate worlds ‘Osu’ formal martial art acknowledgement, ‘Hiza’ knee and ‘mae geri’ front kick, etc, which made for some unusually short conversations. Once I had some basics ‘ Ohayo’ good morning! ‘Arigato’ thank you! etc, my Japanese world was more accessible and enjoyable and the attempt greatly appreciated.
Don’t be late ! The Japanese love a schedule…1 minute over and they will call you, look for you and perhaps as I have been told leave without you. There is no 10 minute ‘wiggle’ time as in Britain, this will be perceived as disrespectful. I was once scheduled and time tabled for a 50 metre, 15 minute walk along the sea front and in Hiroshima they were knocking on the toilet door as I had exceeded the expected bathroom time allowance. Beware you are under scrutiny!
Do try the ‘onsen’ hot spring public bathing. This for me was the biggest culture shock of all, however on my fourth onsen I finally got it! For British people the way to relax in a bath is with the addition of aromatherapy oils or bubble bath, not as in Japan, with the addition of elderly people and other people’s children!
Do remember to shower before entering the onsen or public bathing area, this is for hygiene reasons. Do as every one else does, follow their lead, however Japanese ladies tend to wash and scrub themselves very vigorously in every nook and cranny. I would recommended a more delicate approach to avoid chaffing! The water you are about to enter is very very hot and this could irritate delicate skin. Also wandering around naked in front of strangers at bath time is not usual for us and the first noticeable difference and if I may, I wish to talk about the ‘gedan’ (lower level area) or as I ‘d like to sensitively call it the ‘lady garden’. Western ladies tend to rock a more zen garden highly groomed look, where as Japanese ladies go for a natural, long and luscious over grown meadow that you could lose your hotel card key in look. So I was some what startled at this style and quickly looked away in respect. More surprising was that two teenage girls who were perched on the side of the onsen were giggling and pointing at my smooth as a buddist pebble look! This obviously was uncomfortable for me, so, I attempted to get under the water quickly which was so unbearable hot that I could only assume that Japanese ladies ‘gedan’ area was indeed made from microwaveable rubber able to with stand such temperatures. I was accompanied by Yuka our amazing translator who was attempting to talk me through the discomfort and trying not to laugh.
I am generally reserved and not privy to such dangerous naked activities, so my ‘gedan’ area was now irritated, it shouted up at me, ‘You bring us out for this? I hate you! I said ‘I know, I know but at least you are not seeing what I’m seeing’ as two more elderly women waded towards me.
So that was my first onsen. I tried the onsen again in Izu at the Hotel Ambient. It has a beautiful outside onsen so therefore cooler but still hot. I asked when was the most quiet time to go because it is problem for British people to be naked. So I went at 2:00 o’clock in the afternoon and payed homage to my mum, who would have loved the onsen experience. She was a nudist, a Morris dancer and an accordion player but never at the same time! On my next visit at 5:30am, I was just easing myself down into the hot water when my face just happened to be on a giant hornets flight path, they are affectionately called bear bees! On my last onsen at 6:00am in the rain, I was able to truly relax, at the end I stood up in my naked glory with the rain cascading down and I looked up at the trees and sky and said ‘arigatooooo’ thank yooooo! It was wonderful!
I love Japan, I would like to live there and I will sum up my amazing Japan experience in the words of ‘Aladdin’…obviously!
“I’m like a shooting star, I’ve come so far, I can’t go back to where I used to be !”
